Official Correspondence | Est. 1897
THE NAUGHTY LIST FOR ADULTS. YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED.
*No prior wrong doing required. Although Krampus suspects you qualify.
What is this
Santa has a list. He checks it twice. He rewards the good and ignores everyone else.
But this year, Krampus has notes.
KRAMPUS HAS NOTES is a year-round accountability subscription for adults. Every month, we issue an official dispatch reviewing your conduct, documenting your failures, and reminding you — with precision and genuine disappointment — that you are on the naughty list.
You have been summoned.
How It Works
Complete the Naughty List Intake Questionnaire. Disclose your vices, failures, and the thing you keep promising you'll fix. This takes five minutes. Krampus will use this information for the rest of the year.
The Naughty List assigns you a case number. Your file is cross-referenced, stamped, and added to the active surveillance list. You are now a subject of ongoing investigation.
Every month, an official dispatch arrives. Personalized to your specific failures. Referencing your exact vices. Written in Krampus's signature voice of comprehensive disappointment.
Krampusnacht. Your annual determination arrives. Everything that was observed, noted, filed, and cross-referenced over the preceding twelve months is compiled into a final assessment. The black envelope is not a coincidence.
Membership Tiers
All tiers include judgement. None include mercy.
Field Reports from Active Subjects
"I opened the envelope and my partner asked who was suing me. I explained it was Krampus. The conversation went poorly from there."
"My coworkers saw my Naughty List Member email arrive in my inbox and asked if I was in trouble with the IRS. I said something worse."
"I have received eleven dispatches. Each one was accurate. This is deeply concerning. I have not cancelled."
Krampus already has everything else